Just My Luck
by Drindalis
Summary: After the fight with Crux, the Outlaws learn firsthand that being dunked underwater in the frigid Colorado Mountains is never a good idea.


**Edit: GAH. So sorry, I fixed a misspelling and accidentally replaced it with the wrong chapter. MY BAD!**

DJG: This was just a little plot bunny that grew surprisingly fast. I was thinking on the early Red Hood and the Outlaws comics where they fight Crux/their first Untitled and all three end up in the water…in winter…in Colorado. And none of them get sick. Whut. I can understand Kori's whole getting her powers back thing stopping her from getting sick, but Jason and Roy are both human, whether they can summon magical swords or not. Hence…_this _came to be. Not a part of my trilogy/Pancake-Verse.

* * *

Jason wasn't stupid.

Sure, there were people who would argue to the contrary, but most of those people didn't really known him very well anyway. Those that did, typically figured out within a few hours of meeting him that the ex-Robin had unbelievably bad luck.

For once, however, he was not the direct victim of said bad luck. He immediately became suspicious. With a track record like his, he knew it would eventually end terribly for himself regardless.

Immediately after dropping Crux off in Arkham and returning to a small, inconspicuous hotel room they had rented for the night, Kori had rushed gracefully to the bathroom, (well, as graceful as the alien could possibly be when her face had just turned as green as her eyes) before Roy and Jason were treated to the melodious sounds of Tameranean retching.

Roy coughed into his fist, a teasing smile beginning to form on his face. He was concerned, but not overly. Kori was _always_ reminding (mocking) him of the fact that Tameraneans were incapable of catching human viruses. Those few minutes as a human in the frigid Colorado mountains wearing next to nothing probably were what caused it. Well, that or going underwater in the same temperature. "Enjoying your first ever cold? Bet you're regretting your outfit now, huh Princess?" His playful tone turned more serious the longer the noises went on. "Er…you want me to come in?"

"Strak es tru cor'str _lekkre! _Torbak X'hal kel!" was her _far_ less-than feeble and extremely nasty-sounding response. They could practically tell the exact equivalent of the curse words she was using. Jason probably wouldn't have laughed, because he knew firsthand how bad it sucked being out in the cold too long, (curse those damn short pants anyways) but for each new verse she sang whist worshipping the porcelain god, there would be a small pink glow of light appearing from under the crack in the door, not unlike her starbolts, and that was just too funny. He pitied the maid who had to clean up _their_ room in the morning.

Jason decided to let Roy fulfill his fuck-buddy-boyfriend-with-benefits duties of caring for the sick Tameranean and left the hotel, taking a long walk around the nicer part of town, (I.e., the most unlikely place for Batman and his small army of birds to be found) for a few hours in what passed for civilian clothes. He did that a lot nowadays, regardless of town, even with Roy and Kori still sticking around. It helped clear his head, and, more importantly, let him simultaneously keep an ear out for trouble.

Unfortunately, his hearing apparently wasn't that good, because the specific trouble he discovered back at the hotel was not something he was prepared for _at all._

Upon entering the room, he found Kori curled up in a tiny ball on the large queen sized bed, only a tiny bit of her fiery red hair visible from how far under the blankets she had buried herself. She was shivering slightly.

Okay, that part he could handle. What he could most definitely _not_ handle was Roy stumbling out of the bathroom just as ill-looking as Kori had been only a few hours before.

"J-Jaybird-?" the archer began.

"Jason." the other teen corrected automatically, although truth be told, the nickname didn't really annoy him as much as it had in the first place.

"Wh-whatever, J-Jayb-bird…I d-don't th-think being bl-blast-ted through ice a-and into fr-freezing cold w-wa-water in s-s-subzero t-temperatures is th-that good of an i-idea!" Roy stuttered, teeth chattering slightly.

Jason resisted the urge to groan in disbelief. "Oh, God, please tell me you're not sick, too!"

Roy grinned weakly. "S-sorry, J-Jay. I-if I t-told you th-that, I'd b-be ly-lyi-ing." With that said, he promptly dove under the covers, huddling close to the half-asleep alien and inwardly thanking God for Kori's super-warm body heat, even if it currently was a bit cooler than it usually was.

Jason face palmed, dragging his hand down his face and pulling his mouth into a deeper scowl, one blue eye staring out from between the gaps in his fingers. "Greeeat. That's all we need. You two, both laid up in _Gotham, _of all places. Joy to the freaking world," he grumbled, twirling a finger in a lazily circle, "I'm going to bed."

"Wh-Where?" Roy asked from the bed, peeking up over Kori's slumbering form.

Jason resisted the urge to curse, having not considered that little detail. Obviously, the large queen sized bed wouldn't work for them all, but there had been no other available rooms, so his initial plan was to let the lovebirds have it and he'd take the bathtub. Not the most comfortable place to sleep, but certainly better than the gutters he was used to. Still didn't come close to his old bed back at the Manor, though. When he had first been taken in, he had slept for almost four straight days on account of not getting a restful night's sleep in a good eighteen mon-

-no. That ship had sailed, and _sank_. It was best to not even think about it anymore.

Well, with the bathroom presumed dead, and the bathtub possibly contaminated with Tameranean upchuck, there was nowhere else to sleep. The floor, sure, but that was an absolute last resort. He supposed he must've become spoiled in his years since he lived on the streets. Jason knew he would have _killed_ to sleep on a hotel room floor instead of cold cement or a hard wood floor night after night.

They didn't have any blankets or pillows included in their pack of meager belongings, and seeing as both Roy and Kori were shivering, Jason didn't have the heart to take any of the hotel's bed coverings for himself.

Then again, he could probably make a makeshift pillow out of some of the towels-

-oh yeah, those were all in the _bathroom. _The _scary_ _bathroom. _When he considered all options, a few towels just weren't worth it, and besides, he didn't feel like finding out just how violent Tameranean sicknesses were.

So he sat down in the hard wooden chair in the corner (although sleeping in the bathtub would probably leave him with less kinks in his back and neck than this knobby thing) and stared at the two sick people on the bed.

Against his better judgment, he began to doze off. It had been a long, tiring day, and his injuries from using the All-Blades were starting to ache. Maybe sleep would drive the pain away, even if it was just for a few hours-

"Jason?" Kori piped up somewhat sleepily from the bed. He groaned inwardly, but opened his eyes and straightened up, wincing slightly. Ooh, yeah, got a few kinks already. Stupid, worthless chair…

"Roy told me it was an Earth custom for ill individuals to be tended to by the healthy. Is this true?" she asked. Jason was still a little bit too tired to see where she was going with that statement, so he merely nodded.

"Yeah, I guess…why?"

A long pause. "Would you bring me a glass of water?"

Seriously?

Jason sighed, standing and reluctantly trudging towards the door. "Fine, whatever." There were probably glasses in the scary bathroom, but the bathroom was scary. Hence the word 'scary' in 'scary bathroom'. Jason briefly considered the possibility that the bandages around his torso were bleeding or too tight or something, because he should not be this fucking scatterbrained just from a few hours (67, to be exact) without sleep. But then he remembered that Kori wanted water, and opened the door, shutting it quietly behind him.

He walked into the kitchen, which was probably off-limits to guests, but then again, they paid the ridiculous hotel room fee and gave them their business in the first place, so piss on their fancy rules. It was dark, the staff and customers long since gone to bed. Huh. Didn't these hotel kitchens typically stay open all night? Oh well. He then swiped a tall drinking glass out of a pantry, before filling it with water from the tap and leaving as silently as he came.

He entered their room, striding over to the bed and handing Kori the glass, which she drained quickly. The alien set the glass on the nightstand, murmuring something in an unknown language, before rolling over and promptly falling back asleep again. Hmph. How's that for gratitude?

Jason then returned to his spot in the chair, trying in vain to get comfortable. Once he had finally managed to find a position that _didn't _make him want to light the thing on fire, Roy sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Jay. Psst. Jay! You awake?" the archer hissed. Jason toyed with the idea of playing asleep, but ultimately decided against it. He sat up, face drawn.

"What?" he hissed back, annoyed.

"Can you get me my bow?" Roy asked.

Jason stared at him incredulously. "Roy, it's like, two in the morning! What the _hell_ do you need it for?"

Roy rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Well, in my dream, we were fighting the Untitled, only you both died because after I shot a few of them I realized I forgot my bow, and then you came back to life again, but your face looked like the Joker's and then Kori's hair actually caught on fire and she turned into a phoenix and tried to claw my eyes out and-"

Jason cut him off. "Forget that I asked." he muttered, standing and reaching under the bed to yank out Roy's bow and quiver. "Here, now quit whining," he complained, tossing them on the bed, "And stop having such fucked up dreams. Geez, maybe we should have left _you _at Arkham instead of Crux!"

Roy ran his hands over the weapon as if reassuring himself it was there, mostly ignoring him. "Yeah, yeah, my dreams're weird. Night, Jaybird."

"It's _Jas_- oh, never mind, it's not like you listen anyway."

Within a few minutes, the room had fallen silent again, a slight breeze gently blowing the curtains. Jason shivered. Maybe he should close the window? That breeze was probably only going to make Kori and Roy more sick, and then they'd _never_ get out of here before the Bats found them.

Speak of the devil…

A flash of black and blue darted past the rooftop across from them, a small smile on his face. Nightwing was apparently unaware he was being watched by his younger brother.

Jason internally breathed a sigh of relief at the idea that they hadn't been spotted, and then-

"Jason? Trash can!" Kori whispered frantically, sitting up. Too worried about the nightmare it would be if Kori started throwing up on the bed, Jason quickly handed her one, backing up and wincing slightly as her shoulders quivered violently while she was sick again.

Without warning, _he _felt eyes on _him._ He turned, realizing that when he had backed up, he had unthinkingly put himself directly in the view of anyone outside the window.

Such as _Nightwing. _Good going, Jason.

Said vigilante had an eyebrow raised in surprise, before murmuring something quickly into his communicator and leaping away into the night. Well, wasn't that just fan-tucking-fastic? Inwardly, Jason berated himself for making such a rookie mistake. What was up with him tonight? Now the big bad Bat would be on his way…

Jason's face twisted into a snarl instinctively. Roy and Kori weren't up for a fight right now, and even if they were, he doubted they'd want to engage against _the Batman_. Not many people knew it, but Jason could be a serious mother bear at times. And if Bruce showed up and tried to kick them out of Gotham _right this instant_, when his partners were barely able to _walk, _this mother bear was going to show him the claws.

Jason glanced at Kori, who was still being sick into the trash can, and Roy, who had been awoken and was now rubbing her back gently while watching Jason with eyes bright from fever. Jason's eyes narrowed as he pulled his two handguns from their cases under the bed and pulled his helmet out as well, tugging it on with one hand.

"Go back to sleep. I'll handle this." he said, his voice muffled slightly from the helmet. As soon as he spoke, Roy yawned and relaxed visibly, his attention 100% on Kori. Jason was taken aback at how quickly Roy had heard and believed him, as if he knew that they had nothing to worry about as long as Jason was protecting them. It was…startling, to have this much trust put in him for the first time.

Jason grabbed the knotty, uncomfortable chair and carried it out to the balcony, propping it up to face the rooftops across from the hotel. He sat down, idly fiddling with his guns as he waited for Batman's inevitable arrival somewhat dubiously.

The former Robin coughed, inwardly wincing as his lungs protested with a slight twinge of pain. He was running with only about six hours of sleep this week…and it was Wednesday. He suppressed a yawn, concentrating instead on gently tapping the barrels of his guns on the railing of the balcony to the beat of 'Eye of the Tiger' to help keep him awake. Even pointless, menial tasks like this one could be semi-useful at times.

Eventually he finished the song, and started it over again, eyelids drooping slightly.

"_Can't fall asleep…Harper and Kori are counting on me. Not gonna…fail anyone else…" _he thought to himself as he slowly drifted off.

* * *

As he approached the location where Nightwing had reported seeing Jason, Batman began mentally preparing himself to once again battle his son. God knows, he hated it, but what could he do? Jason would never change his ways, especially now that he had those two…_outlaws _encouraging him.

Finally, he caught a glimpse of a red helmet. He slowed, silently observing from a roof just out of Jason's field of vision. Red Hood appeared to be…tapping the railing with his guns in a strange rhythm. (Some sort of signal, perhaps? A way of communication?) And yet his head was slumped forward, as if he was five years younger and had fallen asleep in the Batcave again while doing his homework like he always used to.

Unsure whether or not he was awake, Batman crept closer so that he could silently slip inside the hotel room. What he saw surprised him. The two ruffians Hood traveled with were unconscious on the bed, both looking rather unwell. The human one was breathing heavily, as if he was having slight difficulties getting enough air. He also seemed to have a…bow and quiver clutched in his grip. The alien was sweating slightly, and she seemed to have lost her pillow at some point while she slept.

'_Tap…tap tap tap…tap tap tap…tap tap tap…'_

If Jason hadn't noticed him entering, he must be asleep. The boy was admittedly very talented, and would have undoubtedly noticed if he were conscious. And yet, still, he kept his place on the balcony, the guns not slowing their constant rhythm. Batman's jaw clenched. Unusual, but not unheard of. Some people _did_ continue motion while asleep. Take Dick for example. When he was very small, they made him sleep with a bracelet of bells on so they could find him when he inevitably sleepwalked around the Manor.

Suddenly, the human shifted, letting out a soft groan as the quiver of arrows slipped off the side of the bed, out of reach. "J-Jay…? I-I los' all m' copper…the Untitled'sh…gonna…mm…try'n kill you 'gain…'f I don' have it…" he murmured quietly, eyes still closed.

Batman froze as Jason abruptly stood, before darting back into the shadows. By the sluggish pace the Red Hood was making towards the bed, he was _still _asleep. He paused at the side of the bed, before bending over and plucking a single arrow with a strangely shaped head on it that had fallen from the quiver and placing it into the human's grasp. The redhead's distress melted away, and he let out a quiet and sleepy: "Th-thanks, Jaybird." before promptly falling back asleep.

Jason then turned, facing Batman as if he could see through the darkness. He wondered for a second if Jason had awoken, but, no, his breathing was as slow, labored, and raspy as the human on the bed. Jason took two steps forward until he was standing right in front of Batman. The older man stayed perfectly still, eyes staring intently at the lenses of the Red Hood mask. They stood there for a very long minute, before Jason simply turned and made his way back over to the balcony, sitting down in the chair and quietly beginning the rhythm again.

"_Tap…tap tap tap…tap tap tap…tap tap tap…"_

Batman stared, somewhat unsure what to do now. Obviously, the outlaws and his former partner were staying here because of illness, and with Jason…er…incapacitated, he couldn't justify attacking him to drive them out now. It was nearly dawn, they'd be gone soon. Still…it was rather irksome to know one of his sons was going without proper medical care, regardless of all the bad blood between them.

As Batman stepped out onto the balcony a few short minutes later, he made sure to close the door behind him before quickly darting away. The sun could just barely be seen on the horizon, and he wanted to get home before Damian assumed Jason had killed him and tried to retaliate. Besides, his work here was done.

* * *

Roy's eyes opened slowly, blinking sleep away as he sat up. Instead of being struck with dizziness, he was pleasantly surprised to find that he felt a little bit better than yesterday. He still felt achy, tired, and a little out of it, but not as 'oh God I'm going to puke' as he was yesterday. He turned to Kori, finding her just waking up as well.

"Mornin', Princess. How do you feel?" he asked. She paused, glancing up at him.

"I am sure I will be all right soon enough. Where is Jason?" she asked, seeing the room empty except for themselves. Roy looked over, hand running through his auburn hair.

"I don't know…I remember him sitting out on the balc…aw, geez. Poor bastard's probably just as sick as we were if he slept out in the cold air all night." Roy slowly got to his feet, making his way over to where he suspected Jason was. However, on the way there, he nearly tripped over the very person he was looking for.

Curled up on the floor at the base of the bed and draped in something large and black, was Jason. His mask and helmet had been removed, and were neatly placed on the dresser. The pillow Kori had tossed aside the night before was now tucked underneath his head, and he appeared to be dozing quietly, undisturbed by his companion's conversation. He was still in the full Red Hood regalia, but asleep as he was and minus his usual angry expression, Jason looked several years younger. Chest gently rising and falling, it was obvious the teen needed as much sleep as he could get.

Jason shifted slightly, arm coming up to slip under the pillow as his other hand tangled in the black material and tugged it up, covering the bottom of his face as he breathed in deeply. He stilled once more.

Kori slowly got out of bed as well, stretching before gathering up their things so they could leave soon.

Tiptoeing around the sleeping teen quietly, Roy approached the dresser where the Red Hood helmet and mask were rested. To his surprise, there were three syringes inside, with the words 'Influenza Vaccine: Fluzone Intradermal' printed on them in neat letters.

Wait a second…

Roy turned around and knelt down beside Jason, knowing that even asleep, the younger boy wouldn't attack him. The sleep-fighting technique that Ducra had taught him apparently only would work on people actively trying to hurt him, or so Jason had explained. The archer's fingers ran along the black material, his suspicions confirmed upon contact with it even as Jason subconsciously tugged it away as if Roy would try to steal it from him.

It was Batman's cape, woven out of steel thread and Kevlar.

Kori, finally finished with her task, turned to Roy. "Shall we wake him and depart?"

Roy smirked to himself, a small spark of something foreign glowing inside him that he hadn't felt in a long time. Hope.

"_If the Bat can still care…_

_Maybe…_

_Maybe Ollie might…too…"_

The impish redhead gave the alien a mischievous smile. "Nah, we'll let him sleep a little bit longer. God knows the kid needs it. Come on, let's go to the harbor. I've never seen a Gotham sunrise before and I'd like to change that before he wakes up…"

* * *

DJG: Oh, oneshots that take up all of my free time and cause my chaptered stories to be temporarily cast aside…why do you haunt me so? D: I don't know where this came from, honestly, but I wanted to write a RHATO story before the whole 'Death of the Family' arc gets more serious than it is already.


End file.
